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HomeMy WebLinkAboutAgenda Report - October 4, 2000 D-02bCITY OF LODI COUNCIL COMMUNICATION AGENDA TITLE: Domestic Violence Awareness Month MEETING DATE: October 4, 2000 PREPARED BY: City Clerk RECOMMENDED ACTION: That Mayor Mann present a proclamation proclaiming the month of October 2000 as "Domestic Violence Awareness Month" in the City of Lodi. BACKGROUND INFORMATION: The Mayor has been requested to present a proclamation proclaiming the month of October 2000 as "Domestic Violence Awareness Month" in the City of Lodi. Melinda Sparks, Community Committee Chairperson with the San Joaquin County Women's Center, will be at the meeting to accept the proclamation. FUNDING: SJB/JMP None required. b Susan J. Blackston City Clerk APPROVED: H. Dixon Flynn — City Manager NA 620 North San Joaquin Street P.O. Box 2543 1005 A Street Stockton, California 95202 Lodi, California 95241 Tracy, California 95376 Or sw JUIN COUvry (209) 941-2611 (209) 368-3406 (209) 833-0300 Dear Friend, We are pleased to send you our Break the Silence on Domestic Violence Action Kit. It is our hope that the enclosed materials will spark your own ideas on ways to become involved. Our goal for this campaign is to get everyone in our community involved in some way in violence prevention efforts. We encourage you to reed through the kit, and think of some small step that you personally can take—hanging a poster at your place of employment, or in a laundromat near your home, organizing a get-together of friends or colleagues to talk about actions you can take. Believe it or not, even little things can make a tremendous difference for a person who is experiencing abuse. Then tell us about what you plan to do! We want to know if our campaign is making a difference. We are here to work with you, too. So call us to share your ideas and ask for help. We would love to hear from you! S�` iincerely, fr Kellie Bnmsdon Domestic Violence Outreach Specialist (209)941-2611 t About the Women's Center In 1976, eight women decided to create.a center where women could meet in a supportive environment and discuss common interests. Beginning with a budget o£ eighty dollars, they opened a drop-in center in the basement of a local church, and women of the surrounding area were invited to bring their children for seminars, readings, and odier group projects. Holding town meetings throughout Stockton, die founders of the Center leanred that there was a great need for a number of women's services. They decided to address vocational counseling, as many women with school -aged children needed help entering or returning to die work force. Attor incorporating as the Womou's Cantor Coalition, the group of volunteers applied for and received their first grant from San Joaquin County to begun Project Step, a job-preparatioit program. Service since that first Project Step progrmnn, the Womon's Center has groom significantly to provido prevention and intervention services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault in San Joaquin County. The wide range oY services include: • 2441our help lines for individuals in crisis from domestic violence and sexual assault • DAWN House, a shelter where battered women and children can stay for up to five weeks • V>CNE House, a 24 hour safe house for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault • AFTER DAWN, a transitional housing program where battered women and their children can stay for up to one year as they secure their transition to a life free from violence. 24-hour accompaniment and services for rape victims at the hospital Individual counseling for victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse • Support groups for battered women in Lodi, Stoc�don, Manteca, Tracy, and Escalon Advocacy and court accompaniment for victims undergoing legal proceedings • Training for battered women seeking Temporary Restraining Orders • Self-esteem classes for women at the County Jail • Rape -prevention training for young women throughout the community • Education programs on domestic violence, sexual abuse and sexual harassment for professional associations, businesses, schools, universities and coaumunity agencies • T. E. A. M. ( Team Education Awareness Model), offering domestic violence services to Southeast Asian, Kispaaic and youth populations Satellite Women Center offices in Lodi and Tracy The Women's Center has been nationally recognized for its services to victims of sexual assault aad domestic violence. Reaching approximately 14,000 people each year through its efforts, the Center continues to berated by the Office of Criminal Justice Planning as one ofthe top tea programs in the Stats of Califonsia. Financial History The Women's Center relies on both public and private funds to supports its programs. During the current fiscal Year. which rums from July 1" through June 30', the Center must receive S 170,000 in donations from individuals and businesses. The amount accounts for approximately 15 percent of the operating budget_ The remainder of the budget is funded through grants from the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), the State of California, the County of San Joaquin, the City of Stockton and United Way. Ninet-y-two percent of the Center's income covers direct -service costs. Direct service is defined as the actual services provided to clients, such as those listed above. Expenses include salaries, materials, and professional fees (for case managers). Administrative costs, including a portion of salaries for the Executive, Finance, and Development Director, amount to seven percent of the budget. This also includes occupancy and some professional fees (such as federally mandated audits). What does this mean? if a donor gives S 1 to the Women's Center, 93 cents will go directly to client services. However all expenses incurred by the Center are necessaryto implemeat the programs we provide. "Are We part of The Problem?" Barriers to Getting, Involved Safety Issues: I might get hurt. I might make it worse for the victim. Feel Incapable: I wouldn't know what to say or what to do. The experts need to help her — I'll leave that for them. Personal Matter: I don't want to poke my nose in other people's business. I tried to say something once, and she stopped talking to me — ' or it didn't do any good_ I don't want to lose my friendship if she gets angry at me for butting in. No One Specifically to Help: I don't know anyone who's ever been' abused. I feel bad for THOSE people — but that's a fact of life for them that won't ever change. Denial: It's not domestic abuse — they just argue a lot. He would never do anything like that Victim's Fault: She provokes it — deserves it. She won't leave — She must like it — I would never put up with that. I have seen her slap him, what do you expect him to do? Significant Other Told You to MYOB: I.was going to do something, but my husband (mother, sister, friend) convinced me it was best not to get involved. Someone said that I didn't know both sides of the story, so I better just stay out of it. "Or Are We Part of The Solution?" Path to Cettine Involved Acknowledge Domestic It is a crime and it is a public matter. Violence Affects all of Even if 1 don't know someone that's being abused, Society: it is happening in my community and in my workplace. People of all ages, backgrounds, races, social classes, and and religions are affected. Recognize All Forms of I have been educated about verbal, emotional, financial, Abuse as Unacceptable: sexual, spiritual, and physical abuse and understand how devastating each one is. No one ever deserves to be abused. Respond to Domestic I will not ignore the signs of abuse in another person. Violence Whenever I I will hold abusers accountable for their actions and not Encounter it: blame the victims. 1 will not remain silent out of fear or embarrassment since silence = violence. I can do something. -to help someone else and remain safe myself. Support victims and I will listen without judging. Advocates to create change: I won't turn my back on someone who doesn't follow my advice. I can offer my resources and talents to a domestic violence organization to help others. I will commit to doing things in my home,neighborhood, community, school, and workplace to help end domestic violence. Connect Those Needing I have learned about community resources for families facing Services to Helping domestic violence. Organizations: I can hand out referral information to those in need or make the information easily available. I will identify myself to others as someone they can talk to about the abuse. I don't have to have all of the answers — I can let others know that help is out there and encourage them to connect to helping organizations. Sexual Assault Sexual Assault (Rupe) is a growing social problem affecting a significant number of people in our country. Rape is the fastest growing violenct crime in America and the least reported. Wltat is ScittRl Assault7 Any unwanted sexual act committed or attempted against a person's will. Sexual contact forced by dates, spouses, family members, acquaintances or strangers. Silence does not mean yes. Any forced oral or anal sex. Any sexual act committed against a child in which the child is being used for sexual gratification. A crime of violence, not a crime of sex. Know the Facts: I in 3 women and I out of 5 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Every minute in the United States a women is raped_ Assaults can happen to any person, regardless of age, race, religion, sexual orientation, or social -economic status. Assaults by strangers are the exception not the rule. In over g01* of all sexual assaults, the assailant is known to the victim. Common Survivor Reaction: If you are a survivor of sexual assault, you have been traumatized — physically, mentally emotionally, and spiritually. The 4usttaeat and recovery process, also known as Rape Trauma Syndrome, is experienced in several stages, and time frames for the stages of recovery and healing vary _.. each individual is unique. Remember, the assault was not your fault: the responsibility for the assault lies with the assailant. How We Can Help.... The Women's Center of San Joaquin County provides a wide range of supportive, educational, and crisis intervention services to victims of sexual assault Services include: Advocacy: 24 hour helpline, Crisis Intervention Legal & Justice System Support, and Hospital response. Rape Prevention Education Programs: Glades K _ 12, Colleges, Community Organizations, Businesses, etc. Peer Counseling for Children, Teens, and Adults. Support Groups Women's Center of San Joaquin County Sexual Assault Services The Sexual Assault Department offers 24hr a day supportive services for victims and families in crisis R 24 hour Crisis Line R Personal accompaniment to law enforcement agencies, hospitals, and social service providers R Certified peer counselors offer short term counseling R Support groups meet weekly offering ongoing support and assistance R Educational & Prevention programs are offered to schools and community based organizations R Self defensive training classes R Information and referral to other victims' assistance agencies R All services are free -and confidential R Services are available in English and Spanish Stockton Office 620 North San Joaquin Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 941-2611 Business (209) 941-4963 Fax 8:30-a.m. = 5:00 p.m. Monday — Friday Sexual Assault Crisis )tine (209) 465-4997 Domestic Violence Services in San Joaquin County Domestic Violence Hotline: Sexual Assault Hotline: Women's Center of San Joaquin County Women's Center of San Joaquin County (209) 465-4878 (209) 465-4997 Police Emergency: 911 Call only in an emergency. To fulfill mandatory reporting requirements or to make non -emergency inquiries, contact your city police department or other relevant local law enforcement agency. Women's Shelters/Domestic Violence Programs Women's Center of San Joaquin County *Stockdorn Office 620 North San Joaquin County Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 941-261 L *Lodi Office "Tracy Office 29 S. Washington Street 1005 A Street Lodi, CA 95241 Tracy, CA 95376 (209) 368-3406 (209) 833-0300 District Attorney San Joaquin District Attorney's Office P.O. Box 990 Stockton, CA 95201 (209) 469-2400 VictimfW itness *VrximlWitness Assistance Center San Joaquin County District Attorney's Office 22 East Weber Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 468-2500 Counseling Services for Victims of Domestic Violence Women's Center of San Joaquin County Stocldon Office 620 North San Joaquin County Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 941-2611 Lodi Office Tracy Office 29 S. Washington Street 1005 A Street Lodi, CA 9524 L Tracy, CA 95376 (209) 368-3406 (209) 833-0300 Counseling Services for Batterers Valley Community Counseling Services (209) 956-4240 James Johnson, L.C.S.W. (209) 951-6122 Pacific Educational Services (800) 346-5891 Center for Positive Prevention Alternatives (209) 948-4357 Sentencing Concepts Inc. (209) 456-2393 Sexual Assault Services Women's Center of San Joaquin County 620 North San Joaquin Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 941-2611 Child Abuse Services Child Protective Services 333 East Washington Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209)468-[792 Chiid Abuse Prevention Council 604 E. Acacia Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 464-4524 Elder Abuse Services Adult Protective Services 333 East Washington Street Stocktoa, CA 95202 (209) 468-2202 Mental Health Services San Joaquin County Mental Health Services 1212 N. California Street Stockton, CA 95202 (209) 468-2399 Restraining Orders The agencies marked (*) provide assistance with Temporary Restraining Orders Feb 2000 Silent Witness Exhibit The Silent Witness Exhibit is a traveling memorial honoring women who were murdered in acts of domestic violence. The exhibit is made up of life-size figures each representing a woman who once lived in San Joaquin County, worked, had neighbors, family, children, whose life ended violently at the hands of a husband, ex-husband, partner, or acquaintance. Silent Witness began in 1990 in Adinnesota and has become a national and international project. The goals of the memorial exhibit are to remember and honor the women who were murdered in acts of domestic violence, to raise awareness in our communities of the extent of domestic violence; to provide advocacy, to connect people with local resources for ending the violence in their lives; to encourage community and legislative action to end the violence in our society. The Lodi Dice of the Women's Center of San Joaquin County initiated the project in San Joaquin County as apart of their 10 year anniversary providing services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. Our hope is that the impact of this event will heighten the awareness of residents of the county to the continuing family violence in our communities. The Silent Witness e-rhibit will be made available to groups and agencies within the county as a whole or in part Arrangements may be made by contacting a Women's Center office. We wish to acknowledge the Lodi Tokay Rotary Club and the American Express Financial Advisors for their monetary contribution to the materials necessary for the exhibit and the DeWitt Nelson Training Center for providing the labor to make the silhouettes. Stockton (209) 941-2611 Lodi (209) 368-3406 Tracy (209) 833-0300 WOMEN'S CENTER (-.f yw jmcxv C:D my The Startlina Statistics 15 Domestic Kolence Every seven seconds a woman is battered in the United States. (Source: Family Violence Prevention Fund) 25 percent of all couples in ongoing relationships experience repetitive abuse. (Source: United HealthCare's Medical and Human Risk titanagement Services) Domestic violence is the most widespread cause of injury for women ages 15 to 44 years surpassing car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. (Source: U. S. Surgeon General's Office) Children who learn violence at home are at risk to continue the violence in their relationships as adults, either as batterers or as victims. Domestic violence can have long-term effects on children. (Source: OtFice of Criminal Justice Planning) In 70 percent of the families where domestic violence occurs, the children are abused. (Source: Los Angeles Police Department) Sexual Assault Every minute a woman is raped in the United States. (Source: National Victim Center, 1992) One in 3 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Over 80% of all rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. In 1998, 218 forcible rapes were reported within San Joaquin County. If we use the national statistic of 1 in 10 rapes are reported, we might estimate that 2,100 rapes or attempted rapes occurred within the county. One out of three girls will be sexually assaulted before the age of 18. One of Erre boys will be scmaally assaulted before the age of 18. F OCT omestic Violence Awarene onth. uring this month, special of s will be made to inform and educat the public on the effects of domestic violence. WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? Domestic Violence can include: Threats, Intimidation, Emotional Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and Physical Violence. It occurs within intimate relationships: Husbands and Wives, Boyfriends and Girlfriends, Same Sex Partners, Ex -Partners, etc. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CRIME! PLEASE JOIN THE WOMEN'S CENTER'S EFFORT TO "STOP AND PREVENT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE BY WEARING THE PURPLE RIBBON." The Purple Ribbon symbolizes our commitment to creating a safe and violent free community. Your support is appreciated. THE WOMEN'S CENTER OF SAN JOAQUIN -COUNTY Invites Y6u`t0 jom the Effort to STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT WOMEN'S CENTER SERVICES: PREVENTION: • Community Education Presentations Services available to the Latino, Southeast Asian, Youth, and Business Communities PEER COUNSELING & SUPPORT GROUPS ADVOCACY • Temporary Restraining Orders • Hospital & Court Accompaniment • Social Service Accompaniment SHELTER: • Safety for Women and Children fleeing from violent homes • Vine House: Safe House • DAWN House: Shelter • After DAWN: Transitional Housing 24 HOUR HELPLINE: • Domestic Violence: 209-465-4878 • Sexual Assault: 209-465-4997 WOMEN'S CENTER LOCATIONS Stockton: 209-941-2611 Lodi: 209-368-3406 Tracy: 209-833-0300 L• .. ��-_- _ - -- � � - 3�'�+--�•��',1'uL � - - ice_+-�� r - - 1. Have a safety plan. 2. Trust your instincts. J. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. 4. Set your limits and express them to your partner. 5. Know your rights. If i 1. Get to a saie place. 2. Call someone to be with you. 3. Don't wash or change your clothes. 4. Get a medical exam. 3. Contact a RAPE crisis center. S. Get into counseling. 7. Be gentle on yourself. S. Do not minimize the assault. 9. Remember... Ir was not your fault! Identifying a potential Batterer.. . What you should ask yourself: Is your partner excessively jealous and controlling? Does your partner want to control every aspect of your life? Does your partner constantly attack you verbally through criticisms and putdowns? Does your partner make degrading remarks about women, especially relating to their intelligence, sexuality and bodies? Has your partner ever destroyed your possessions? What to do if you think you may be battered... I.Choose a safe place and decide how to get there. 2.Always keep a list of emergency phone numbers with you. 3. Gather important documents together such as personal papers. SS cards, birth certificates, school immunization records and immigration papers for you and your children. 4 -Call the Women's Center helpline for help and info I i How the Women's Center can help you... • Short-term peer counseling. • Support groups for battered women, tape victims, adults molested as children. • Hospital and Court accompaniment for domestic violence and sexual assault victims. • Assistant with Temporary Restraining Orden. • Dawn House, a shelter for women and children fleeing from violent horses. • 24 fir- hotlines for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault. • Family Violence Prevention Education to the Community. 661E 005Z-89* (602) • ssaw!m tuaa!A 9ZIZ-*E£ / 0*Z*9S6 (60Z) • 8upasuno3.C]!ununuo, ,Cal(VA OSS* -t£8 (60Z) •']daG aa!10d ,Cavy LLML£6 (600 •'tdaG W!lGd uos130LS lZVI,Wt (600 •']daG s33!'w4S 9898-89* (60Z) • aun s!su, saa!titas gtt=H leruaW ZOIZ-669 (602) • -tdaa aa!lod uod!a t"8-6EZ (60Z) .,id -u aa!lod taatuetnl LZL9-CCC (60Z) •'tdaa aa!lod !P01 [999-8S8 (60Z) •'tdaG aa!Iod do-upe^I E604 -8E8 (602) •'tdaa aagod u01eas3 OOZS £*8 (008)1 • au!1 s!suD glno k n!U10V11D *ZS* -b9* (60Z) • l!aunoZ) uonuaAard asngy p!!47 asuodsai "ry *Z • £EEI-S" (60Z) • saa!AaaS annaanord Pl!4D :samnosa21 fleuntuuroJ �yowArrrsctnrtR You are not alone... Women's Center • 620 N. San Joaquin Street • Stkn., CA 95202 Business Office....................................(209) 941-2611 Lodi Office ...........................................(209) 368-3406 Tracy Office.........................................(209) 833.0300 Sexual Assault Hotline* .....................(209) 465-4997 Battered Women's Helpline' ............(209) 465 -HURT 124 hour hotlines • Collect caps accepted. Break the silence on domestic violence !UIN COUNTY ION KIT t Your silence leaves the victim of domestic violence trapped in fear. Many of us know, or think we might know, a woman who is in an abusive relationship. But we can always come up with reasons to ignore our discomfort and hope the problem will solve itself. Here are some common reasons why people don't break: the sileIlce on domestic violence: • "I mightgethurt...or make things worse for the victim." You do not need to physically intervene. And the only thing that can make rhings worse for the victim is for her torment to be ignored by those of us in a position to support her. • `ffshe wants to stay in such a lousy situation, that's her problem" Victims are trapped in domestic violence by a number of factors: deep fear, lack of financial support, love, loyalty, cultural and family values, and rhe depression and hopelessness that constant abuse can cause. Also, victims know that abuse doesn't stop just because they leave. In fact, the danger increases for mam- Vic - urns when rhev do leave. Imagining that she is tree to leave any time absolves us, but does nor help her. Nobody can make the personal and painful decisions for her, but you can be there to support her. • "Poking my nose in will cost rue lien fi- e zd,hip...and she doesnt seem to ruaut to talk about it. " Domestic violence could cost your friend her life. Talking about her situation isn't easy for either of you. She may feel shame -and guilt, so you need to be tactful, open, and nonjudgmental. She may nor respond the first time. She has to decide what's safe and can't be rushed into action. If she hears your open- ended offer to put her in contact with a domestic violence hotline when she chooses, shell feel safe coming back to you. • Here's an example of what to say. It doesn'r sound yen- dramatic, but it can make a dramatic difference: "I'm concerned about you. Are you okay' Doyou % am to talk to me about 11'..Ats 1101 t"Our fault. You didn't deserve it ... I understand... I'm not going to share this %vith anyone else I'm nor going to tell you what to do. What you do is fine with nle. You kilo%%-, there's a number to call to find our more about this. Do you want to call rhem 110W� shall I give you the number'..,Thais okay. just know that I have the number. if you ever want 1c. I do care." • Are there thin0os _MOT to say? It doesn't help to start planning a rescue or escape for her. Ask-, rather than tell her ,�yhar YOU think is gojng on. And dont start criticizing her partner, how- ever much yon may feel he deserves it. (The best way to shO%V you are on her side is by staving out of the business of the relationship7itself. If she was able to confront hitn and leave, she would alreadv have done ic.) The idea is to gendv break chrou,,h the isolation she is living in and offer a bridge she can use v. -hen she chooses. Nine ways for men to take a stand against domestic violence: 7 Say out loud that abuse and fear in relationships are never acceptable. 2 Let other men know the equality you strive for in your relationship: that it's a source of pride, not embarrassment. .3 Teach your kids that abuse is never okay; they'll follow your example of equality and respect. 4 Acknowledge that domestic violence affects us all. We all pay the price in juvenile crime, drug use, teen pregnancy, higher health care costs, and lost productivity on the job. 5 Know what services are available in your community, and be ready to refer a victim or abuser to a place that can help. 6 Encourage and support your community's efforts to prevent domestic violence. 7 If you're abusive, seek help. If not, share your strengths. 8 Don't condone a friend or relative's abusive behavior by ignoring it or attributing it to stress. Silence is complicity. If you don't speak up, the abuser believes it's acceptable to you. 9 Take the problem personally. Your involvement and leadership really matters. Fir Y C A t started with one person who cared. A family member, a neighbor, a cop, somebody at work or worship who told us we rriktered, offered a phone number to call, and encouraged us to reach out.To them, it may have seemed like a small thing. But no woman in this picture will ever forget their gift of hope. P Questions and answers I.- What is domestic violence? nswer: Domestic violence is a ittern of one partner controlling another trough threats and abuse. It is a learned fhavior; it can be unlearned if the )user takes responsibility for his actions id seeks help. This broad definition can ert you to the early signs of escalating notional and verbal brutality found t domestic violence, even before you itness or suffer a physical assault. I.- Who are the victims? nswer: Married and unmarried, -ealthv and low-income, gay; straight ad lesbian, young and old, spanning I religious, ethnic and racial groups. 5% of reported victims are women; cat's why this kit refers to abusers as sale and victims as female. We know most men would never buse their partners, but unless they tke a stand against domestic violence, busive men won't see that their ehavior is unacceptable. :I: Who are the abusers? inswer: They can be from any walk ,f life and be friendly, solidly employed hurchgoers. Red flags include: jealousy, xplosive temper, constant criticism, !ifficulry expressing feelings, controlling )ehavior, childhood exposure to abuse, lestruction of property, threats and )hysically abusive acts. Q: How widespread is it? inswer: A woman is assaulted by her ,artner every nine seconds in the U.S. Chere are four million victims a year. ,0% of all female murder victims are Jain by their male partners. One in hree Americans say they have witnessed lomestic violence. In the Sacramento trea, domestic violence is reported to )olice every hour, 365 days a year. Q-- How can I identify it? answer: Identifying verbal abuse or physical violence is simple. But be alert to indirect evidence of domestic violence so that intervention can occur as early and safely as possible. Is someone you know: Afraid of her partner? • Constantly apologizing for her partner's behavior? • Unable to go out with friends or family because of her partner's jealousy? • Ever forced to have sex? • Denied money or barred from getting a job? • Threatened with arrest or being reported to the authorities by her partner? • Hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at her? Ever been kept from leaving a room by restraint or been blocked at a doorway? Q-- Is there a pattern to it? answer: Domestic violence is not an isolated event. Each incident builds on what has happened before and the abuse becomes more frequent and severe. Remember, it is not about anger, drunkenness or drugs but about control of a partner. The violence is not always physical. It can include: • Verbal abuse that humiliates or demeans; • Emotional abuse like threars, stalking, extreme jealousy, controlling behavior and isolation from others; • Economic abuse that traps a partner in poverty or debt, prevents a partner from working or having access to money; • Sexual abuse, including forced sex, harsh sexual criticism, and flagrant public "cheating'; • Physical abuse like hitting, strangling, kicking, pinching, hair -pulling, arm- nxisting, tripping, biting, restraining, shoving or using weapons. All are harmful to the victim and her children. (Half of households where domestic violence occurs are also scenes of child abuse.) Q: Is it a crime? answer: Physical assault and battery are crimes no matter where they take place—on the street or in the home. So are harassment, stalking and sexual assault. Abusers are arrested and jailed. Lav enforcement agencies in the Sacramento area consider domestic violence a very serious crime and hold perpetrators accountable for their actions. Q: Is there ever any excuse? answer: Barterers often come up with excuses and frequently blame the victim, deny the abuse and minimize the severity of their violence. There is never an excuse for abusing anyone and no possible reason for brutality or coercion in a "loving" relationship. We all ger angry at people we care for. But domestic violence tends to swing between brutality and "making up," the level of abuse always rising. It is all about control, not equality. Q: What can I do? answer: If ,you believe someone is in physical danger, call 911—just as you'd want someone to do for you. If you suspect that someone is trapped in a pattern of domestic violence, call a domestic violence hotline for insight and advice. You need not give your name. The staff at the hotline can help you think through what to say or do to help the victim find safety. We've included a brief outline of helpful responses on the left panel. Even if you don't know anyone who's being abused, you can still create a safer climate by getting the word our in the community. See the back cover for suggestions. Why more and more peopav� are breaking the silence... "I want to help my sister." "I'm calling for a neighbor with two kids who needs it." "We have some kids who are at risk here." "I can speak out more with your help." 'An employee I'm concerned about." "I'form i n." tsy situation." "I teach a class." "We have over 10 0 employees." "I see too much domestic violence and want to know how to stop it." "For a friend." "I work in a medical office" CC Ichelp." an "My niece is being beaten by her boyfriend." "For someone who desperately needs it." "I could hang up a poster.""I am a pastoral counselo "To safeguard myself. " g Y "I want to share this with some of the families in our neighboncc "To break the cycle in my own life." Nine simple, safe, effective strategies to end domestic violence in our community 1 Support your local domestic violence organization. Donate money to help them provide services to battered women and their children. Volunteer your time and talent—you can make a difference! 2 Break the silence about domestic violence. Dort be embarrassed to speak up if someone is blaming a victim or minimizing abuse. Encourage others to hold batterers accountable for their behavior. This sends a message that abuse is wrong, that victims dont deserve it and batterers should not "get away with it." You never know who may be listening and need to hear those words. .3 Get the facts. Contact ,your local domestic violence agency for speakers and assistance in organizing a presentation Organize a discussion in ,your neighborhood or at your workplace. To end domestic violence, it must be brought out in the open. 4 Hang a poster denouncing domestic violence at work or at another public place. Show that domestic violence is never acceptable. Reinforce the point that batterers must be held accountable for their behavior. Let victims see that there is help and that no one deserves to be abused. 5 Check your workplace policies. Form a workplace committee to implement policies that expand Employee Assistance programs (ELps) to include counseling referrals for abusers and victims and benefit packages to willow flexible scheduling for victims seeking restraining orders and/or shelter. 6 Place referral cards in discreet areas— restrooms at school, doctors' offices, places of worship, etc. Call a local domestic violence agency for referral cards. Restock these cards on a regular basis. Remember, victims and family members are more likely to take information when they feel safe to do so. 7 Talk to your child's teacher about including domestic violence prevention in school curricula. By their senior ,year in high school, one in three teens will have been in an abusive dating relationship. To reverse this trend, ,young people should be taught about healthy relationships and skills that foster non-violence. Encourage your school board to hold one staff in-service day per year that focuses on domestic violence and its impact on the classroom. 8 Write letters to elected officials. -lake some time to write letters about how domestic violence affecrs the whole community. Back legislation that provides support for innovative domestic violence programs. 9 Ask clergy to speak out about domestic violence from the pulpit. The place of worship is where many people turn For guidance and support in their lives. Your clergy's expression of intolerance for domestic violence can aid many members of your congregation. Speakers from local domestic violence agencies can also make educational presentations to your congregation. For more copies of this Action Kit, call 1-888-303-4500.